My first Kali Pujo at my in-laws - I will probably remember forever!
I will live to recount my experience to my grandchildren.
I was newly married and was trying hard to be the shy,
demure ‘bouma’ one is expected to be. It was Bhoot Choturdoshi, the night
before Kali Pujo. This is the day when our ancestors descend to earth and
remain in close proximity with us. It’s customary for every household to shine
‘choddo baati’ or fourteen diya as a
sign of respect and remembrance of our ancestors. I have seen my grandmother
and mother doing this for many years.
I had been told the night before, that I should wake up
early, take a bath and step out in a saree. I did wake up early, but the idea
of taking a bath at six in the morning proved to be difficult. The water was
cold and my sleep- deprived eyes craved for a cup of tea. But in a house full
of elders, I did not have the nerve to step out in nightwear and demand a cup
of tea.
Finally dressed in a sari, I stepped out to find the women
in full swing. They were all carrying mud in their ‘pallu’. I was promptly
ordered to get some from the backyard. Clueless I stepped out to get some.
Unsure of the quantity, I managed a moderate- sized lump.
Ma-in-law headed the pack of women, while the elderly widows
sat at a vantage position dictating the rules and customs. I managed to
understand that we were to make diyas
out of the mud we had gathered. I looked around, confused and bewildered. The
tradition amongst my in-laws is to light the fourteen diyas but the diyas can’t
be bought. They have to be made at home by the women. So that was the ritual I
was supposed to participate in. While the women set upon their task, I looked
pitifully at my muddied silk sari and my manicured fingers tainted with mud and
slime!
A nudge from my ‘nanad’ (sister-in-law) brought me back to
reality. I looked around to find everyone busy and Antu ma, the matriarch, looking
down at me with disdain. I knew she despised me for my ‘shohurey’ (urban) ways.
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| Celebration of Bhoot Choturdashi |
I cursed myself for not having taken pottery classes instead
of Batik during my college days at Shantiniketan. Well, if only had I known
that pottery would come to much use later on. I tried hard to copy, but this
was something that did not come easily to one. While I prayed for divine
blessings, Antu Ma kept looking at me. I knew she was enjoying my plight.
The God above heard my fervent prayers. There was a sudden
commotion outside. A group of keertaniyas had arrived. The elders got busy with
them, while Pishi (my husband’s aunt) replaced my lump of mud with her ‘diyas’. She then got busy with the lump
she had taken from me.
I will never forget the old woman’s expression. Antu ma was disappointed
to find me ready with my set of prodeep. She tried to quiz me about the way I
had made them, but ma-in-law whisked me away from there.
This was an experience I will never forget. That was Antu
Ma’s last Bhoot Choturdashi with us. A bout of pneumonia took her away the next
Pujo. But this particular day always reminds me of her and how she would
terrorize us.
The diyas that we
made were allowed to toast in the sun the whole day. By evening they had dried
up and were ready to be lit. Ghee was put into each of these diyas, ‘sholte’ made out of old dhuti
and lit.
The first diya has
to be placed beneath the Tulsi plant. It’s the holiest of all and deserves it
due respect. It is followed by the
Ponchoprodeep (the five-sholte diya)
which occupies the centre of the household. Usually it’s placed in the middle
of the courtyard. The rest are then placed near the door of every room. On Kali
Pujo morning, it’s customary to make some more diyas and light them in the evening.
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| Kali Pujo in Assam |
Very few households today are aware of this custom. But not
everyone can make such diyas. With my
Ma-in-law this custom will probably end in our family. This year I did not
throw away the diyas that she made.
But have kept them carefully. They are priceless treasures which require proper
safekeeping.
