Sunday 8 December 2013

Ushering in Baby Kartik


When we were kids, our favorite stories were of the times when we were born. Ma would tell us stories about what happened that day, how we looked, what people had to say about the new born baby and the tension that would grip the house that day. It would be like a story unfolding from some Bengali movie. As we grew older and had our kids, Ma gave us more details about her pregnancy and the ordeal she had to endure for giving birth to three girls. 

Ma got married at the age of eighteen and had her first child when she was twenty one. While expecting her first born, i.e. my elder sister, everyday there would be an argument in the house between the elderly women and the younger lot. While the elderly women would wish that ‘Maii’ should have a boy who would continue the ‘line’, the younger women fervently prayed for a girl. Their logic was simple. The girl would be as pretty as my mother and they would all have a great time decking her up. The older women would then tell them to shut up their ‘alukkhuney katha’ (unlucky conversation) as producing a boy was deemed lucky. The mother would be considered blessed and fertile.
My little Kartik

Well, the mystery was unraveled soon. My sister arrived. The younger women celebrated. They gathered around her collectively sighing at her beauty. The older were disappointed, but they did not lose their hope.
After six years, Ma was pregnant with her second child. Yes, that’s me! So you know the outcome but not the theatrics before that! This time, the elderly women in the family, tried everything to ensure that the child would be a boy. They put herbs in her food so that she produced a male heir. They made her sleep facing away from the moon. They made her fast on certain ‘tithis’. They applied a special paste made from holy basil leaves, methi, turmeric and cucumber. And then they brought home Kartik. 

Kartik Pujo is celebrated amongst households which have newly married couples or couples wishing for a son. But unlike other Pujo, Kartik Pujo is markedly different. One can’t just bring the deity home and start worshipping it. The elders of the house have to get the deity and drop it off before day break outside the household’s door. It remains strictly confidential and the prospective couple should have no inkling about it. It’s also customary that the couple who wish/plan to have a child should be the first to find the deity and carry him inside. They have to carry the Lord just the way one scoops up a little baby in their arms. The Lord has to be installed by the lady who wishes to conceive. She then has to take a bath, offer him sweets and fruits and worship him. 
Boron daala for Kaatu baba

Kartik Pujo happens in the evening. No Pandit or Purohit is required for the Pujo. The couple has to offer their prayers jointly to the deity. The next morning is followed by Dadhikarma where the Lord is offered a mix made of Dahi, chirey, gur and bananas. Kartik symbolizes an infant and is not supposed to be immersed. After the Puja, the deity is usually left under the shade of a tree. The household has to celebrate Kartik Pujo for three consecutive years. The third year, its customary to invite people and organize a grand feast for them. But the Pujo has to be performed by a Purohit.

Well, in the case of my mother, the Lord was worshiped twice but the much-awaited male heir never arrived and the elders had to be happy with three girls. 

I was fortunate enough to have witnessed this ritual. My husband’s cousin had been married for long and was not able to produce a child. The elders in the family called for an emergency meeting last October. ‘Kartik chara r goti nei’ (Kartik is the last resort), is what they decided. The responsibility fell upon me. Well, by all standards I had lived up to their expectation. I am the ‘boro bou’ of the family. I conceived my child in the third year of my marriage. I had an uneventful pregnancy and I delivered a healthy baby boy.  So by all standards, I was the blessed one and therefore, I was the perfect candidate to bring the Lord home. But everything had to be done in utter secrecy. The elders kept on reminding me about the customs and the rituals associated with Kartik Pujo.

The evening before Kartik Pujo, we stepped out searching for the right size which I can carry in my ‘jhola’ and drop off in secrecy. We did find the right size and carried it back. I set the alarm at 5am and retired early knowing very well how the next day would turn out to be. By 5am we were ready with our little Kartik and set out early for our cousin’s house, which is a block away. We dropped our ‘kaatu baba’ (my four- year old has nicknames for every God and Goddess) at my cousin’s doorstep, returned home and crawled back to bed. The mobile rang sharp at 6am and it was my cousin calling. I knew that she must have found the idol and had rung me up for advice. 

Kartik Pujo in swing
I explained to her the significance of Kartik Puja and advised her to usher in the Lord. Thereafter the morning was spent in arranging for the Pujo. The Pujo went off well and the next evening we left our ‘kaatu baba’ under the shade of a tree overlooking the huge lake. Next month she called us up to give us the ‘good news’. This year on November 16, she celebrated Kartik Pujo with great fanfare. A proud mother, she has decided to celebrate Kartik pujo every year.

So for all those couples out there…there is no harm in doing a Kartik Pujo! Right?