Ushering in Baby Kartik

When we were kids, our favorite stories were of the times when we were born. Ma would tell us stories about what happened that day, how we looked, what people had to say about the new born baby and the tension that would grip the house that day. It would be like a story unfolding from some Bengali movie. As we grew older and had our kids, Ma gave us more details about her pregnancy and the ordeal she had to endure for giving birth to three girls. 

Ma got married at the age of eighteen and had her first child when she was twenty one. While expecting her first born, i.e. my elder sister, everyday there would be an argument in the house between the elderly women and the younger lot. While the elderly women would wish that ‘Maii’ should have a boy who would continue the ‘line’, the younger women fervently prayed for a girl. Their logic was simple. The girl would be as pretty as my mother and they would all have a great time decking her up. The older women would then tell them to shut up their ‘alukkhuney katha’ (unlucky conversation) as producing a boy was deemed lucky. The mother would be considered blessed and fertile.

My little Kartik

Well, the mystery was unraveled soon. My sister arrived. The younger women celebrated. They gathered around her collectively sighing at her beauty. The older were disappointed, but they did not lose their hope.

After six years, Ma was pregnant with her second child. Yes, that’s me! So you know the outcome but not the theatrics before that! This time, the elderly women in the family, tried everything to ensure that the child would be a boy. They put herbs in her food so that she produced a male heir. They made her sleep facing away from the moon. They made her fast on certain ‘tithis’. They applied a special paste made from holy basil leaves, methi, turmeric and cucumber. And then they brought home Kartik. 

Kartik Pujo is celebrated amongst households which have newly married couples or couples wishing for a son. But unlike other Pujo, Kartik Pujo is markedly different. One can’t just bring the deity home and start worshipping it. The elders of the house have to get the deity and drop it off before day break outside the household’s door. It remains strictly confidential and the prospective couple should have no inkling about it. It’s also customary that the couple who wish/plan to have a child should be the first to find the deity and carry him inside. They have to carry the Lord just the way one scoops up a little baby in their arms. The Lord has to be installed by the lady who wishes to conceive. She then has to take a bath, offer him sweets and fruits and worship him. 

Boron daala for Kaatu baba

Kartik Pujo happens in the evening. No Pandit or Purohit is required for the Pujo. The couple has to offer their prayers jointly to the deity. The next morning is followed by Dadhikarma where the Lord is offered a mix made of Dahi, chirey, gur and bananas. Kartik symbolizes an infant and is not supposed to be immersed. After the Puja, the deity is usually left under the shade of a tree. The household has to celebrate Kartik Pujo for three consecutive years. The third year, its customary to invite people and organize a grand feast for them. But the Pujo has to be performed by a Purohit.

Well, in the case of my mother, the Lord was worshiped twice but the much-awaited male heir never arrived and the elders had to be happy with three girls. 

I was fortunate enough to have witnessed this ritual. My husband’s cousin had been married for long and was not able to produce a child. The elders in the family called for an emergency meeting last October. ‘Kartik chara r goti nei’ (Kartik is the last resort), is what they decided. The responsibility fell upon me. Well, by all standards I had lived up to their expectation. I am the ‘boro bou’ of the family. I conceived my child in the third year of my marriage. I had an uneventful pregnancy and I delivered a healthy baby boy.  So by all standards, I was the blessed one and therefore, I was the perfect candidate to bring the Lord home. But everything had to be done in utter secrecy. The elders kept on reminding me about the customs and the rituals associated with Kartik Pujo.

The evening before Kartik Pujo, we stepped out searching for the right size which I can carry in my ‘jhola’ and drop off in secrecy. We did find the right size and carried it back. I set the alarm at 5am and retired early knowing very well how the next day would turn out to be. By 5am we were ready with our little Kartik and set out early for our cousin’s house, which is a block away. We dropped our ‘kaatu baba’ (my four- year old has nicknames for every God and Goddess) at my cousin’s doorstep, returned home and crawled back to bed. The mobile rang sharp at 6am and it was my cousin calling. I knew that she must have found the idol and had rung me up for advice. 

Kartik Pujo in swing

I explained to her the significance of Kartik Puja and advised her to usher in the Lord. Thereafter the morning was spent in arranging for the Pujo. The Pujo went off well and the next evening we left our ‘kaatu baba’ under the shade of a tree overlooking the huge lake. Next month she called us up to give us the ‘good news’. This year on November 16, she celebrated Kartik Pujo with great fanfare. A proud mother, she has decided to celebrate Kartik pujo every year.

So for all those couples out there…there is no harm in doing a Kartik Pujo! Right?

Memories of a Bhoot Choturdashi

My first Kali Pujo at my in-laws - I will probably remember forever! I will live to recount my experience to my grandchildren. 

I was newly married and was trying hard to be the shy, demure ‘bouma’ one is expected to be. It was Bhoot Choturdoshi, the night before Kali Pujo. This is the day when our ancestors descend to earth and remain in close proximity with us. It’s customary for every household to shine ‘choddo baati’ or fourteen diya as a sign of respect and remembrance of our ancestors. I have seen my grandmother and mother doing this for many years. 

I had been told the night before, that I should wake up early, take a bath and step out in a saree. I did wake up early, but the idea of taking a bath at six in the morning proved to be difficult. The water was cold and my sleep- deprived eyes craved for a cup of tea. But in a house full of elders, I did not have the nerve to step out in nightwear and demand a cup of tea.

Finally dressed in a sari, I stepped out to find the women in full swing. They were all carrying mud in their ‘pallu’. I was promptly ordered to get some from the backyard. Clueless I stepped out to get some. Unsure of the quantity, I managed a moderate- sized lump.

Ma-in-law headed the pack of women, while the elderly widows sat at a vantage position dictating the rules and customs. I managed to understand that we were to make diyas out of the mud we had gathered. I looked around, confused and bewildered. The tradition amongst my in-laws is to light the fourteen diyas but the diyas can’t be bought. They have to be made at home by the women. So that was the ritual I was supposed to participate in. While the women set upon their task, I looked pitifully at my muddied silk sari and my manicured fingers tainted with mud and slime! 

A nudge from my ‘nanad’ (sister-in-law) brought me back to reality. I looked around to find everyone busy and Antu ma, the matriarch, looking down at me with disdain. I knew she despised me for my ‘shohurey’ (urban) ways. 

Celebration of Bhoot Choturdashi

I cursed myself for not having taken pottery classes instead of Batik during my college days at Shantiniketan. Well, if only had I known that pottery would come to much use later on. I tried hard to copy, but this was something that did not come easily to one. While I prayed for divine blessings, Antu Ma kept looking at me. I knew she was enjoying my plight.

The God above heard my fervent prayers. There was a sudden commotion outside. A group of keertaniyas had arrived. The elders got busy with them, while Pishi (my husband’s aunt) replaced my lump of mud with her ‘diyas’. She then got busy with the lump she had taken from me. 

I will never forget the old woman’s expression. Antu ma was disappointed to find me ready with my set of prodeep. She tried to quiz me about the way I had made them, but ma-in-law whisked me away from there.

This was an experience I will never forget. That was Antu Ma’s last Bhoot Choturdashi with us. A bout of pneumonia took her away the next Pujo. But this particular day always reminds me of her and how she would terrorize us. 

The diyas that we made were allowed to toast in the sun the whole day. By evening they had dried up and were ready to be lit. Ghee was put into each of these diyas, ‘sholte’ made out of old dhuti and lit. 

The first diya has to be placed beneath the Tulsi plant. It’s the holiest of all and deserves it due respect.  It is followed by the Ponchoprodeep (the five-sholte diya) which occupies the centre of the household. Usually it’s placed in the middle of the courtyard. The rest are then placed near the door of every room. On Kali Pujo morning, it’s customary to make some more diyas and light them in the evening. 

Kali Pujo in Assam

Very few households today are aware of this custom. But not everyone can make such diyas. With my Ma-in-law this custom will probably end in our family. This year I did not throw away the diyas that she made. But have kept them carefully. They are priceless treasures which require proper safekeeping.

The holy month of Kartik

Kali pujo and Kartik pujo

We came back home (Orissa) after a long Puja vacation in Kolkata. Weeks of Moglai, Roll, Kobiraji and Chowmin had spoiled us thoroughly. It was time for us to settle back into our daily routine. Groceries had to be brought and the fridge had to be stocked. And then came the shock. Vegetables were scarce. Whatever was available, the prices had gone up. Fish was not to be found anywhere. Special orders had to be placed with my ‘para’ fish seller whose name happens to me Bromha! Bromha later explained that it’s the month of Kartik. People in Orissa turn vegetarian during this month. That explains the rise in price of vegetables.

The month of Kartik which begins from mid-October and continues till mid-November is considered the holiest of all the months in our calendar. Kartik arrives just after Ashshin, the month of Durga Pujo. My grandmother had told me stories why Kartik was considered the most sacred of all months. It was Lord Bramha who had declared that Kartik would be the holiest of all the months. Any pious act or deed committed this month would win the favor and blessings of all the ‘Devatas’ as the deities are much closer to earth this month. By this declaration he had accorded the highest honor to this month. 

The other story I came across on a website (http://astrobix.com/hinduism/tag=kartik-month-significance) is that of Lapsi and Tapsi. The legend says that there were two men Lapsi and Tapsi. Both were very devoted and dedicated towards God. While Tapsi meditated for long, Lapsi regularly offer Lassi to God. One day they started arguing about who was more devout. Narad Muni was passing by and decided to help them out. Next day, while returning home after a bath Tapsi found a gold ring. It was Narad Muni who had deliberately dropped this ring. Tapsi promptly hid the ring and sat down for his prayers. On the other hand Lapsi woke up, took his bath and offered Lassi to God. When Narad Muni arrived, both Lapsi and Tapsi wanted him to identify the devout follower in them. Narad told them that since Tapsi had stolen the ring, his devotion was questionable. Therefore it was Lapsi who was more committed. But Tapsi wanted to know how he could do penance for this act and absolve himself of all sins. Narad advised him to take a bath everyday in the Ganges during the month of Kartik. He also mentioned that whoever listened to this story or told this story to others would be blessed by the Gods.

Lighting Lamps in Assam

Hence many keep a fast during this month. They fast the whole day and sit down for a proper meal after the sun sets. Many opt for vegetarian food. Some cook with only Ghee as oil is considered unholy by many. Men abstain from intoxicants and tobacco. Jagraan and Keertans are common in every locality. Early morning ‘snan’ rituals are regular in most places. 

Kartik is also Lord Krishna’s favorite month. Lord Shri Krishna says, “Of all plants, the sacred Tulasi is most dear to me; of all months, Kartik is most dear, of all places of pilgrimage, my beloved Dwarkais most dear, and of all days, Ekadashi is most dear.” (Padma Purana, Uttara Khand 112.3)

Karwa Chauth, Kali Puja, Diwali, Dhanteras, Kartik Pujo, Bhai Dujj and Tulsi Vivah are some of the festivals that happen during this month. The worship of Tulsi is mandatory for each and every member in the household for the whole month.

This is also the month where we believe that our ancestors travel down to be in close proximity with us. My grandmother would tell us tales of many such paranormal activities that had happened in our ancestral house in Asansol. So scared I would get that I would spend sleepless nights in Asansol during the month of Kartik. There is one such story which is known amongst all our family members. The house in Asansol was a huge one built in the early 1900’s by my mother’s grandparents. It housed some fifty seven people at that point of time since theirs was a joint family. The room at the far end overlooking the garden was the one where my mother’s grandparents lived. One night during Kartik my grandmother saw someone peeping through the window. She awakened the whole household and they searched for a thief. But there was no sign of one. This happened again the next night at the same time. But no one was found. For three consecutive nights the same thing happened and everyone had sleepless nights. The fourth night my mother’s grandfather decided to stay up and keep a vigil with the other servants. Well, that night he did spot an intruder, but beckoned all to stay low. He had given prior instructions that the servants would run for the ‘thief’ only when he signaled. The men waited for the signal. But it never came. Babuji (as we called him) simply sat there. The head of this ‘thief’ bobbed up and down for a while and then there was no sign of him. Next morning Babuji informed everyone that the intruder at night was harmless and everyone should sleep peacefully. Everyone looked at him, their face full of questions. But no one dared to question him and no one dared to look up the intruder that night. Much later he revealed the identity. 

Bulu was a boy who grew up in that household. He became my great grandfather’s right hand, chauffeuring him, ironing his clothes, lighting his pipe. He was a shadow who always stood by him. And Babuji loved him the way he loved my grandfather. But as fate would have it, Bulu died at the age of 20. Babuji lost him to Typhoid. He grieved for him. In fact, as my grandmother said, Babuji never stopped grieving him. He stayed up many a night wondering the fine young man Bulu would have become had he lived. Babuji had no trouble recognizing Bulu that night. Yes it was Bulu who had come back to see Babuji. He had come back after a year of his demise to pay his respects. That month he came back every night. Kartik was the last month he visited us.

Kartik is the month when these spirits, who remain in various strata of the atmosphere, cross all obstacles and boundaries to descend down and remain in contact with their near and dear ones on earth. That’s the reason we light an ‘Akashprodeep’ or an ‘Akashdeep’. We light a lamp, the highest in the terrace to show light to our ancestors. It’s a mark of respect, a gesture to show that we remember them, we love them and we do cherish them forever. 

This year I was away vacationing with family in the hills. I arrived home two days late but did not fail to light my Akashdeep. The fain blue light which remains lit since evening soothes me. I lost my maternal grandmother this year in May. Last year when I lit a Prodeep for my maternal grandfather, my grandmother was very happy and urged me to carry on this tradition. Hope she is smiling at me now for continuing it. The nights in Orissa are beautiful. All the terraces are lit with different shades of light from the Akashprodeep. While mine has a blue haze, some are red, some are orangish and few are green as well!

Katik Purnima is the most auspicious and is celebrated with lot of fan fare in Orissa. The significance of Kartik is understood the best in Orissa. People follow the customs of Kartik with sincerity and rigor. Availability of fish is restricted and prices of vegetables and fruits soar high. The otherwise sleepy town wakes up early in the morning for a proper ‘snan’ in the Koel river. 

Dr K K Agarwal in his blog ( http://blog.kkaggarwal.com/2011/10/lifestyle-in-kartik-month/) mentions the science behind the holy Kartik.

•   Its known for Pitta aggravation in Ayurveda
• As per Ayurveda Pitta is imbalanced and one should eat less pungent, sour and salty foods
• Ayurveda mentions avoiding eating split pulses in this month
• Ayurveda also prohibits eating non vegetarian esp meat in this month
• Kartik Snan or Kartik early morning sun bath is mentioned in Vedas. Sun bath provides vitamin D supplementation.
• Tulsi Vivah with Vishnu is also in this month. Tulsi seeds make the semen concentrated and are good for increasing fertility. Kartik is the month for increased fertility. It’s also the marriage season. The chances of getting pregnant are highest in this month. The results of IVF pregnancy are also best in this month. Kartikeya was also born in this month from Shiva and is an example of asexual reproduction. Kartik Pujo is common amongst the Bengalis.

Gram Banglar Pujo III; Away in Assam

The year we got married, I had in my mind, planned for a nice vacation in some exotic place. One fine, romantic evening, this new man in my life placed a very unusual request to me. ‘Cholo Charu-Piyari ke dekhiye ashi tomai’ (Let me show you Charu-Piyari). I couldn’t turn him down. His face was lit with his love for his hometown. Well, I decided that day I could go anywhere with this man whom I loved so much. Ok, so the first year of marriage would be dedicated to Charu-Piyari. We landed in Dhubri, Assam during Durga Puja. I had no expectations from this ‘Charu-Piyari’. I had dismissed them as a distant relative whom my husband was very fond of.  

Pujo in Dhubri, the place where my husband hails from, has a distinct flavour. There is no extravagance. It’s a simple, traditional affair. The rituals follow the Bengali Ponjika strictly. My father-in-law has been involved with this Pujo since many years back. The budget is minimum. Except for prosaad and bhog, there are no arrangements for Bhuribhoj. People donate money depending on their ability; it ranges from Rs 20 to Rs 200. But the music sets this Pujo apart. The music here is authentic. 

This tiny place comes alive during Durga Puja with scores of people filtering in from adjoining towns and villages. ‘Cholo Charu-Piyari ke dekhe ashi’ is what the people tell each other.

Charu-Piyari is the famous duo who are the official Dhaaki for this Pujo. This uncle-nephew duo has been around since many years. They date back to some 40 years back. Piyari has been playing the Dhaak with Charu since he was a little boy. After Charu passed away a couple of years ago, Piyari took on the mantle. In his 60’s, Piyari not only beats the drum but dances to the drum beats as well. He downs a few glasses of ‘dishi’ (locally made) liquor to keep him dancing through the night, balances the Dhaak with one hand and does acrobatics with the other! Accompanied by his assistant who plays the shanai, he is the centre of attraction in this sleepy, little town. People from neighboring areas visit this Pujo only to watch Piyari beat the Dhaak. It is customary for Piyari to beat the Dhaak on Nabami night till the Dhaak punctures! 

On Dashami, the residents have a tough time bidding farewell to this genius. With the absence of Piyari the town once again slumbers back to its routine existence.