'Ki Kori Ami Ki Kori'; The Shivratri list

I have been observing Shivratri for the last fifteen years. Here are some popular beliefs about Shivratri which I have picked up in all these years.

Borrowed from The Purple Sack, a page on Facebook

·         The younger the merrier: It’s believed that if the girl starts observing the Shivratri vrat from a very tender age, then she is bound to be happy in life. She will get a husband 'like Shiva'.

I and my sisters have always teased Ma. We used to tell her that she will end up with sons-in-law who drink every day, are addicted to Marijuana, are ill-clad, lover of reptiles and yes with a disputable character. (No offense meant!)

·         Water, water everywhere but not a drop to drink: One is not supposed to drink a drop of water. No swallowing your saliva too. Unless Shiva has his drink, one has to keep a nirjola fast! A tough ritual but I find young girls and women following it loyally. Possibly this is where the foundation of a ‘pativrata naari’ is laid.

·         Shivratri comes with a guarantee: Yes there is, at least that’s what the elders have always preached us! One should walk barefooted to present her offerings to Shiva. The harder the ritual the better the chances in acquiring a ‘nice’ husband like Shiva. 

·         Jagran: How can you sleep when the Lord is yet to accept your offering? I have heard women telling others that they are NOT supposed to sleep that day. If they do then the Lord will pull their legs to wake them up. And the Lord touching their leg is a grave sin. So no afternoon siestas in Bengal. In Orissa, the women stay up the whole night participating in keertans sung in praise of the Lord. It’s known as ‘jagar’ in Orissa. Interesting!

·         No pora to be eaten: The fast can be broken only with fruits, sweets and milk. Dinner can be Paranthas but not Roti. Roti is a strict no for Shivratri. No non-vegetarian food is supposed to be consumed. Not even onions and garlic.

·         But drink galore! Now how is that possible? Well, Shiva is known to be a maatal (drunkard), a gajakhor (addicted to intoxicants). I have seen some women getting high on Ganja which they say is an ode to the deity!

·         For married women, shongjom (self control) is the ultimate word. Let me clarify it. No sexual relations between the couple that day or it would anger the God.

Now these are all debatable. I have no logic for them. But have found women around me performing them. Do let me know if you can add some more to my list of Shivratri beliefs.

The Grandeur of Shivratri

The Red visible here is the temple from our house

The moment I reach home, i.e., our ancestral house in Burdwan Ma insists that we visit the Shiv Mandir first. This time it was no exception. I and my three- year old paid our regards to the deity and walked home. This was the conversation that happened between us:

Boy: Ma, the Shib here is not like the Shib in Rourkela .It is alaada (different).

Me: Accha, how is that so?

Boy: I have seen photos in the temple there.

Me: Ok

Boy: And then there is also Shib in Bal Ganesh. (Bal Ganesh is an animated version of the story about Lord Ganesh)

I am still thinking of the differences he is trying to point out and then he says

Boy: Burdwan er Shib has no snake, no face. It is not a lok (man). Why do you call it Shib nono? It is only stone. 

Very interesting isn’t it! The three- year old finds the Shiva Linga an oddity! And how do you explain a Shiva Linga to a toddler! I am clueless. Maybe my readers can come up with a way to explain it to him. Thankfully he mumbled to himself and did not press me for further answers. Thank God!

The deity back home. The silver trishul and the snake were stolen

Painted and decorated

Shivratri is a grand affair at my house in Burdwan. The temple overlooks a huge pond and has a proper bathing ghat attached to it. I think it dates back to the early 1900’s. It was initially a dilapidated structure, never maintained by anyone. No one painted the temple and seva of the deity was subjected to the whims and fancies of the worshippers. If someone had a ‘manshik’ they offered Pujo or else the deity went without his daily diet! Infested with rats, cockroaches and lizards the temple was in a sorrow state. Though there was a rightful owner, he never bothered to look into the affairs of the temple.  Later we found out that he was too old, senile and poor to be looking into it. And it’s also strange and sad that after my parents took over the care of the temple the poor man died in a fire.

Getting the Bhog ready

It was in 2000 that Baba decided to shift to Burdwan after taking voluntary retirement from work. Thamma (my paternal grandmother) was not getting younger and needed us to take care of her. It was during this shifting that Baba had a bad fall from the ladder. He could have been badly hurt but he escaped with a fractured elbow. The doctors considered it to be a complicated surgery. The surgery happened a week before Shivratri. Ma promised the Lord that she would take upon herself the seva of the Lord if the surgery was successful. The Lord granted her wish and thus began our tryst with the Lord. 

The mukut

But it was not an easy task. Restoring the lost glory of the temple was a task in itself. The main hurdles were the need for manpower and money. It proved to be too expensive a task for a retired man.  We sisters and some of our relatives pooled in money to form a small fund for the temple. A young man from a village nearby offered to put in his labor. Within a few days the temple was painted, scrubbed clean, a priest appointed on the basis of a monthly salary, regular Pujo offerings by Ma and a special ‘somvaar’ Pujo. 

The temple thrived attracting people from all around the city; devotees started thronging the Mandir premises. The word spread around that ‘whoever prays here have their wishes granted’. People contributed to the regular Pujo willingly and since then we no longer need to bother ourselves about the daily offerings to the Lord.

Our 85-year old Purohit Rashbehari dadu

As Shivratri draws closer, I keep going back to my days in Burdwan. The days preceding Shivratri are too busy.  I think after Durga Puja it’s the second time that we have a ‘shaaj shaaj rob’ in the family. Painting the temple, ordering garlands and flowers, drawing alpona, buying ingredients for the Bhog, making food packets, informing all about the exact time for the commencement of the Pujo and not to miss the discussions about what to wear for the Pujo are some the various activities we indulge in.

Our new 14 year- old Purohit

Decorating the temple is a task which I have always enjoyed. Baba usually orders a variety of flowers from the florist in our locality. The first year Ma had designed a beautiful ‘mukut’ (headdress) for the Lord. The next year they did not have to order as the florist decided to offer it voluntarily. The ‘mukut’ has become a tradition since the last thirteen years. Scores of tuni bulbs adorn the temple from every angle and a huge halogen light is also strung to show the way to the devotees. Ma cooks the Bhog at home which is taken to the temple in huge copper plates, offered to the Lord and then distributed amongst all. 

These days the Pujo has grown in dimension with many people joining in. It has become more of a para event with the neighbors bearing the cost of fruits and sweets, some joining in the Bhog making and some helping in distribution as well. 

It’s interesting to note that the initial hostility and resentment that greeted us when we shifted to Burdwan is now replaced with lot of love, warmth and cooperation from the same people. People who tried to make our life hell by defecating in front of our entrance, robbing the temple of the silver snake and trishul, teasing us have now pledged to stand by us and help us in all our endeavors. 

Ponjika for March

Dadimar Jhuli thekey Gota Sheddho

‘Ashche bochor abar hobe’ is the popular refrain that echoes throughout during any bishorjon/immersion. With this cry, one is always filled with pain and sorrow. The much-awaited festival has finally come to an end. And with it ends our fun and frolic. Time to get back to studies or the daily grind whichever is applicable to one. 

But with Saraswati Pujo despite the gloominess, there has always been something to look forward to. The next day after Saraswati Pujo is equally important. This day is popular amongst us as Shitol Shoshthi/Gota Sheddho. 

Shitol means cold in Bengali and Shoshthi is the deity we worship for the well-being of our children or better known as the Goddess of Fertility. Shitol Shoshthi for any Bangali is a strictly no-cooking day. Yes, you’ve got it right. We don’t cook that day, in fact as Dadima (my maternal grandmother) and Ma pointed out they were not supposed to light the unoon (the earthen stoves) on that particular day. Food had to be cooked on the day of Saraswati Pujo which was then served cold the next day. Hence the term Shitol Shoshthi. 

The Panch Kalai out in the sun

So what do we eat that day? The menu for the day comprises of Gota Sheddho. Gota implies whole and Sheddho is boiled. Gota Sheddho comprises of Panch Kalai (five kinds of dal) and three/five/seven kinds of vegetables. This fascination with odd numbers (bijor shonkha), I have to find out from my elders the rationale behind it. Even numbers are a strict NO. Therefore if one doesn’t want to add three kinds of vegetables then it has to be five or seven. The pulses are roasted and then soaked overnight. Kul and sweet potato is a MUST in our family. One can also add shelled peas, brinjals, and potatoes. But all these vegetables should have their bota, I mean the stem. Hope now you realize why this concept of ‘gota’. 

My dekchi for Gota Sheddho

Gota Sheddho is prepared keeping in mind the number of family members. I have three sisters and we are all scattered across the country. When Ma makes Gota Sheddho she puts in vegetables for each of her daughters, her sons-in-law and her grandchildren irrespective of the fact that they might not be in town. So if she has three kinds of vegetables then she has to put in three for each and every family member. Such is the ritual. This ritual is for the well-being of her children. I still remember the huge dekchi (pan) that she used for the ritual. The aluminum had turned into black after years of boiling Gota Sheddho. First the kalai would go in followed by the vegetables.  It would take some 3-4 hours to boil. No salt, ghee, turmeric would be added into it.  

This ritual is usually performed by the matriarch of the family. In our case it was my grandmother and then Ma taking it up. But first she has to take a bath, purify herself and then wrap the shil-nora (the grinding stone) in a yellow cloth and worship it with holud, shidur and mustard oil. Only then can the making of Gota Sheddho commence. After the Puja the holud is then applied as a teeka on everyone’s forehead.

Gota Sheddho is served cold. Heating it is ruled out. Add salt, mustard oil and green chilly and it tastes wonderful. It tastes good, it’s good for health and yes my grandmother keeps on reiterating that it is ‘anti-pox’. That’s what they believe in. During my grandmother’s times there were no vaccines. Mortality rate was high as many children died due to pox. Gota Sheddho is considered a natural, yearly vaccine against pox. 

Roasted and soaked..ready for the boil

In my family I have seen that it’s not just Gota Sheddho we make. Ma and Dadima spend hours in the kitchen cooking up a storm. Shojnefuler jhal, ilish macher jhal, postor bora, Macher tok are a must for us.

Gota Sheddho was a huge family affair at our maternal grandparents’ house in Asansol. Dadima’s dekchi had ingredients for some fifteen family members besides the domestic help. And there would be neighbors who would be invited for lunch. Some would send their four-storey Tiffin carriers. Quite a sight it was.  The kitchen in our sprawling Asansol house was separate and was built in the Assamese style with a sloping tiled roof. It was two-roomed kitchen with two huge unoon. We would all line up on the verandah to have Gota Sheddho. The whole family together, laughter, shouts and giggles, it was an impressive affair. 

The kitchen at Asansol. It was demolished in 2010.

My husband is a bangal which means he comes from Opar Bangla or in better words from East Bengal. This ritual was alien to them. I introduced this custom and since then I have tried my best in continuing with it. This year is the first time that I couldn’t make Gota Sheddho at home. New in Orissa, I couldn’t locate vegetables with bota, no Ilish available and no shojneful. But next year I am determined to make Gota Sheddho even if it means importing all the ingredient s from Kolkata. 

Such is my love for Gota Sheddho!

BANGALIR BHALENTINE DAY

My Saraswati at home. We spent an entire evening looking for the perfect idol for my son. Isn't she beautiful?

This year on the Saraswati Pujo morning, I get a message from my childhood hero wishing me a very happy ‘bhalentine day’.  Valentines Day indeed for the Bengalis! Couples hand-in-hand at every corner, young men in white Punjabi/Pajama, women in bright yellow saris - yes love and festivity is in the air!

A nostalgic day for me. It always takes me back to my childhood days spent in Durgapur. 

An old scanned picture of our Vivekananda Road house. Baba at work.

Fuley fuley dholey dholey: Our bungalow in Vivekananda Road and Andrews Place had a beautiful garden. I remember the layout was more of a square in Vivekananda Road and triangular in Andrews Place. Come winter and it would be full of flowers like Dahlia, Chrysanthemum, Marigold and Roses. Baba and Anil da (our ‘ek paye’, ‘khona’/one –legged and with a broken voice) gardener would toil hard throughput the year to ensure that ours looked the best. Well, my parents have always won the gardening contest organized by DSP, SAIL. We never had to buy flowers for Saraswati Pujo, our garden had every variety for the deity.

Pink and Bronze colored??

Ful churi: No I don’t mean the morning walkers! But the nocturnal visitors mostly kids, teenagers and miscreants. Saraswati Pujo would be all about guarding those flowers the night before.The most exciting night for us. No bed timings for that particular night as we took turns in staying awake and helping Baba keep a watch over our precious flowers. Catching a ful chor (flower thief) was deemed highly heroic. And we tried our best to catch one as it would inevitably mean catching the eye of the ‘para’ Romeo/Juliet as well. To stay awake the whole night meant lot of liberties. Ma would keep a flask of tea or coffee for us and we could also rent videos to watch the whole night.

Some more colors of the deity

Code Yellow: That’s the color of the deity. White is also another option. A week before the Pujo we would rummage through Ma’s wardrobe looking for the perfect yellow sari and there would inevitably be a tug of war. Well I have two more sisters, far prettier and glamorous! So whatever Didi picked up was considered the best by the two of us and hence the object of envy! Yellow with a green/red/golden border would be the typical Saraswati Pujo sari.

Pujor jogaar: Pujo at our house would always commence at 7am sharp which meant we had to be up very early and compete for the use of the toilet. Shivering in the wee hours of the morning we would take a bath and then wait for Didi to help us with our saris. Our skills lay in making the Marigold garlands for the deity while Didi helped Ma with the alpana and the noibiddo (fruit offering).

See how she looks in Orissa. The features are so different!

The forbidden fruit: The very word noibiddo reminds me of Kul. Aahhh! The best part about Saraswati Pujo.  Two weeks before the Pujo there would be kul around but we couldn’t have even a single one! Ma’s warnings rang clear and loud in our heads ‘Kul has to be offered to the Goddess first. If we don’t then we commit a sin. The Goddess gets angry and ensures that we live a life without bidda’. Well, this logic of Ma still works for us. I give the same rationale to my son (who thinks a life without bidda is much better) and I make it a point to have kul only after offering it to the goddess. 

Pujo at Kidzee, Kolkata

Boi pujo: Along with the deity, books are also worshipped this day. This meant a day without books, hence no studies- the best gift that Ma Saraswati can give us. 

Finally the ‘Bhalentine’ day: Such a coincidence that this year Saraswati Pujo was on February 15, a day after the Angrezi Valentines day. Dressed in our fineries, this is one day where the para girls and boys have free access to each other. Every household organizes a Saraswati Pujo and anyone can drop in for the Pujo/Bhog which meant no one’s entry is questioned by the elders. 

Bhuribhog: After the Pujo its then time to gather at someone’s place for some Khichudi, Labra and chutney. 

Rangoli by the students of KPC Medical College

By evening our spirits would hit an all-time low as this is one particular day in the calendar which allows unrestricted freedom, fun and enjoyment to the youth.This Pujo stands for the youth, by the youth and of the youth. Hence the only one which places undue emphasis on them.

Ponjika for February